I don't know about you, but naming kids is tougher than labour for me! Labour, ends. The name you pick for your child lasts a lifetime and that responsibility is too much to bear sometimes. What if we picked wrong!?
We had a hard time finding the perfect name for our current 3 boys - and I hear from clients, friends, family and strangers alike that choosing a name for their son was harder than for their daughter(s). Why is that? I don't know personally - no daughters here - but do feel like that as well. We have had an easy time picking girls names before finding out we were having another boy.
For me, finding an identity for the little one I am growing has always helped me bond, prior to delivery. Especially with each subsequent child being a boy. As most of you know, I have suffered with gender disappointment with more than one child and one of the ways I navigate and cope welcoming another boy is to name him. It helps me identify with him, speak to him, think of him being in the world with us all when his 9 months of growing is up. A lot of people say that they simply could not pick a name until they saw their child, to make sure the name suited their look. I guess we have been pretty lucky so far that he names we have picked instantly felt right for our boys. I don't know what it is, this time, that is making it so hard. Maybe it is that we have used up 6 favourite names, since we have never gone with a namesake for our boys. Or maybe it's because we have such contrasting kids I am unsure if he will come out looking like our oldest & middle - olive skin, dark hair & dark eyes, or our current youngest - fair skin, blonde hair & blue eyes (seriously, we don't even know where he came from! He's so different than the other two). I understand why some cannot name their kids until they see them, for this reason. There are a few names I have liked a lot but cannot picture a blonde haired child with that name, or vice versa for a dark haired (why, I don't know. But to me, for instance, Henry just seems like a boys name who has olive skin and dark hair). *Henry is not a name we are using for a first name
Whatever his name ends up being, I know it will be perfect. My friends keep telling me I am over thinking it, but the pressure seems to be on with a little under 3 months to go until he arrives. This is the longest it has taken, to pick a name, and I think that pressure is weighing heavily on me and I just can't shake it. People keep saying a name will just come to me, pop out of a movie, book or magazine and just fit. If anything, he will be nameless with a rocking wardrobe full of perfectly picked items I adore and darling nursery because that is keeping me busy in the interim while we try to come up with a name!
Do you go with a namesake? Match the first letter of all your kids names? Blindly choose something off a website or out of a book? (I am almost at this point!)
Kayla is a mom to three sons, wife, and doula. She works within the Shuswap/Okanagan Region providing mothers and their families with a whealth of knowledge and support in all things fertility, pregnancy, birth and beyond.